ttxzb 发表于 2011-7-3 19:32:54

英语作文竞赛的作文----关于虎妈的那个

本帖最后由 ttxzb 于 2011-7-3 19:34 编辑

题目要求:近来美国华裔女性蔡美儿以其严格的教育子女的方法而闻名,如果你有虎爸虎妈,请给他们写封信。

我的原文,希望大家积极评论~~

Dear Parents:

Recently a person, exactly a mother, is very famous around the world, who is her? Amy Chua, aka “Tiger Mother”. She is famous for her strict teaching methods, and a number of people are talking about that. Her teaching methods led me reflect you.

When I was only 5, you took me to a piano teacher, you always said “Let little children study some skills earlier is good.” So I start studying piano at that time, during that time, I had thought give up many times, you got angry and hit me, in the strong pressure situation, I have to continue. In that age, I can not watch TV too long; I can not play the computer games; Forbidden hang out with my friends… When I read Amy Chua’s stories, I realized she is very same to you!
So many years later, when I stood in the doorway of Piano Competition, “Do your best, we know you can.” You whispered. In these years, I have learned not only the Etudes, Mazurkas, Sonatas or Concerti, but more confident, more passionate. When I’ve passed National 10-level Amateur Piano Competition, I really realized your heart and finally understood you.
Maybe strict educating is fit to me, but maybe to other children is not available. I know lots of children studying musical instruments, sports, tae-kwon-do, etc. are not what they like, and they give up. It is a large economic spend, some family bought piano, violin, guitar… As we know, these musical instruments are not cheap, and its tuition fee is a lot of money. Because of this, some children are under strong pressure, maybe after they brought up, their mind will going wrong.
Thank you my parents, although you have hit me, angry with me, but I know you love me. I am 16-year-old, I know what supposed I do, and I will ask for your ideas; you can give me some freedom, don’t you?

Copyright (c) ttxzb


PS:得分95.5分,进入了复赛可是我没有交钱去。

击剑狂歌 发表于 2011-7-3 21:46:56

感觉不错的。。。虽然我看不懂。。。

chsi 发表于 2011-7-4 10:29:24

感觉语言和逻辑的连贯性上有一定加强的空间。最后一段显得太短促了,应该更详尽地阐述一下。
参考下面这篇:
http://dl.cncalc.com/~chsi/essay/000.jpg
http://dl.cncalc.com/~chsi/essay/001.jpg

ttxzb 发表于 2011-7-4 15:47:44

的确,说实话我也觉得写的一般。网上比赛,登录了我就玩游戏去了,结果回来才发现已经开始记时了……20分钟快速码字    ~~~~~>_<~~~~~

几河 发表于 2011-10-25 11:23:10

好简单,话说你格式和连接也太....
这样的网上比赛我不参加白不参加啊(大笑)
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